Some major ANGST

Its one day more than 3 weeks into the new year, and there is only one thing that I am sure of. 2005's a piece of shit, and it's only gonna get shittier. Well, if you would care what happened, you would have already know what shit I've been through, so I don't feel motivated to re-list all that shit here.

Here's some things that I've learnt, or more accurately, realized, in this year full of baptisms of fire (read: fuck-ups.)

NEVER buy an American car, no matter what everyone else says. If it's made in America, it's a piece of shit. Kinda makes you think what a Proton is. Hmmm... what's lower than shit? Nothing comes to mind right now. If you ever figure out the answer to that question, I guess a Proton's that. 1/2 way around the globe and I'm still bitching about our poorer bitchass neighbour. I guess you can take the Singaporean out of Singapore but you can't take the Singapore out of the Singaporean. Malaysia's only good for 2 things. Screwing up and pirated VCDs.

I care too much about certain people who don't give a damn, and care too little about those who do. Yeap... you guys probably know it by now... the more I love you, apparently, the less I bother. Talk about getting my priorities all screwed up... what an asshole eh? But who cares, you love me anyway. If you don't, go screw yourself.

There are plenty of shitheads who can't drive. Yet, the state department churns out licenses by the millions and hands them out like candy to any shithead who has five dollars, a hand and a foot. They've got congressmen bitching about social security. Why don't they get their act together at take a look at TRAFFIC SAFETY? God damnit, the shitheads in cars ARE the reason they have to worry about social security in the first place. How the hell did they think people get crippled? By eating the wrong breakfast cereal? "Son, you better not eat those Cocopops. You don't want to end up in a wheelchair like your uncle Sam now, do you?"

The tsunami shit is over-rated. Okay. It's tragic. Many people died. GET OVER IT. No, I do NOT want to raise any more funds. Yeah, they'll come begging you for money NOW. Two years later, the same people whose lives your money put back together will be critisizing you for being insensitive tourists. However, I do NOT think that those people deserved it, unlike a certain shithead who claims to be a prince from Nigeria, who apparently said that those people in India deserved the tsunami because that is God's way of punishing them for their sins. Right. So AIDS is God's way of punishing Nigerians then. All that being said, that dollar I put in the donation box for the 248732th time yesterday is the last time I'm going to give anything. It's OLD, and I'm fucking broke. DO NOT LIVE IN COAST REGIONS IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO GET KILLED IN A TSUNAMI. Also, to avoid getting killed in tsunamis, do not visit beaches for holidays. Use some common sense people. It's just like not putting a piece of hot coal into your mouth. Common sense people, common sense. It's funny why they call it common sense anyway, since it aint common at all.

TEPPANYAKI: Forturnately for the teppanyaki industry, Americans do not know the true meaning of the word teppanyaki. No, it does not mean "broiled on a steel grill."It means "Fucking Ripoff." See, for 20 USD you'll get a chunk of blackened fish OR lots of chunks of soy-enriched (no, it's not enriched with soy protein. Its enriched with soy sauce.) chicken and deformed shivelled up pieces of things that's supposed to be beef but taste more like rubber. You also get some rice and some noodles and some plants and shrooms, (nope, these shrooms dun gif u a trip,) all of which come in spectacularly modest proportions. To top it all off, all these are cooked on a piece of stainless steel for your viewing pleasure, or for second and subsequent visits, displeasure. I wonder why they call it stainless steel. Really, a shiny piece of steel with a black circle in the middle doesn't really correspond to the term"stainless." Looks more like stained steel. Yeah, well at least you get someone to do some shit with the knives and the food and try to impress you by setting your vegetables on fire then feeding them to you afterwards. Well... I hate to burst the white male's fantasy, but that waitress that had just served him is a Filipino, the chef is Indonesian, and the restaurant's owned by a Viet. Wake up Neo, welcome to the REAL world. To top it all off, the 'chef' cleans the table in front of you while you are eating. I put the word chef in inverted commas because I think clown would be a much better title for him as he breaks more sweat twirling his utensils then using them and I could cook better blindfolded with one hand than he can ever hope to. Driving home the final yard, the 'chef' does a lousy job of cleaning the stained steel plate, giving you a tableside education on the lack of hygiene in restaurants. And these customers are the same people who cringe at the thought of eating food from a roadside stall in Puket. Go figure. Oh well, guess they don't have to worry about roadside food in Puket anymore... with the amount of money they are asking for, I don't think there's anything that is even remotely edible within a 100 mile radius of that island.

All that that's all I'm gonna bitch about today. It's kinda hard since I'm not born with a lack of testicles and extra estrogen.

Anyway, are you a true slacker?