I wanna go to a place where I can say that I'm alright and stay there with you.

Do you like the music? It's from the soundtrack of Gundam Seed Destiny by the way. Kinda mellow yeah? Dun seem like music from a robot anime does it? I used to hate mellow songs.

I'm sitting in the ISO office alone, at the computer. It's 1220 right now, and it's pouring outside. It's the kinda torrential rain that always reminds me of Singapore. I used to walk in the rain. I walked 2 hours home from school once just because it was raining. I still walk in the rain; I guess not much has changed.

I used to write poems. My poems never rhymed. It was about the words and the structure, never about the rhymes. I don't write them anymore. Few people appreciate them. Fewer still inspire them.

I used to write songs. They were unpolished, but they were from the heart. I don't write them anymore.

I listen to jazz. I used to hate jazz. It seemed to me that jazz singers were so in love with their voice, and liked repeating the same verse over and over. It turns out that that was just one exception.

I've lost alot of my angst, and gained alot of acceptance. Perhaps it is wisdom. Perhaps it is despair. I wonder if the day would come where I stop trying at all.

Things are different now; people change with time. While the rest of the world moved, I moved too. I guess while the rest of the world change on the outside, I changed more on the inside. You couldn't tell any difference between the person I am and the person I was. But I can. I feel it. Within me, there is a growing reluctance to hope.

Hope may be the sole salvation of mankind, but it hurts.

Is it really ok? It's never going to be.