Wishing for:

Roses, Stars, Beach and a long walk with someone special.

I MUST PROOF READ MY WORK!!!

I realize that my lack of proof reading has lead to certain mispellngs as well as fatal missing words that really result in statements opposite in meaning from what I had intended.

Damn...

Sonnet of Musing

A lonesome soul's awake at three,
While all the rest're in slumber's keep.
Before he lays him down to sleep,
Ponder does he, of mysteries.

Of the ways of the world; its demeanor;
Of how perception seems to turn,
From disasters to the greatest omens,
Into something else much obverse.

Perhaps they are all illusions.
Yes, that is what they are,
For how can they change so much
When there has not been transition?
The ways of the world are such an enigma,
Especially those matters of the heart.

Stone Mountain pictures!

Stone Mountain pictures are out! Check them out here!

One arrow, one life.

One arrow, one life: this is the essense of Kyudo, the Japanese art of archery. It refers to the belief that the way one shoots an arrow is the way one leads his entire life. Therefore, things that are wrong are to be fixed as they happen, for what we sacrifice by procrastinating is all our future chances. It is a philosophy that believes in the present, that one should not be preoccupied with past successes or failures; neither should one be preoccupied with future success or failure, for in doing either, we would be messing up this moment. One should focus on the task at hand, and not be distracted by the rest of the world. Nothing else matters, only the present.

I had been too preoccupied with the past, and I am still, and also fearful for the future. One arrow, one life. I will try to life my life that way, focusing on perfection of the task at hand, not bypredicting future outcomes by judging past experiences, but by doing what needs to be done.

In other news, I'll be putting up pictures from Stone Mountain, Georgia after I take a nap. Check back in a bit for them.

09/24/05

Stone Mountain rox! It's like the biggest piece of rock I've ever seen. Interestingly, there is shrimp in the tiny pools on the mountain. Apparently the cysts of these shrimp pass through the digestive tracks of birds and certain mammals undigested and spawn whenever there is sufficient water. The view from the top of the mountain is breath taking. I would definitely love to go back there again.

The Japanese fair at Stone Mountain Park's mediocre though. Everything's so bloody inflated and there wasn't much that was particularly interesting there. There wasn't even many cute girls there (if there were any at all.) The highlight of the fair was the "Candy sculpting show." It was funny and highly entertaining.

In other news, in the light of changing circumstances and because I cannot, will not, and hate to deal with baggage, I would like to retract certain statements made previously. I wish things were different, but they aren't.

I'm happy.

I think I got to know something that I wasn't supposed to know, saw something that I wasn't supposed to see, and did something that no one expected me to do.

Excellent.

Chewbacca (Chewlaca) State Park

It rox. I had so much fun at Chewbacca State Park today with Brittany, Jennifer, Sam and Marie. I fell into the stream! Ahahaha first time for everything I guess. I'm just glad my phone got revived. Sam hit Jennifer with a rock! I was last on the trail, and saw a rock fly past and then looked up to see Jennifer start to cry. I thought the rock had hit her head or something... turns out it hit her on the finger. I guess she was just being a girl. (For the girls reading this, it means "girls have a low threshold of pain tolerance.") Well... it did have a red spot, which means internal bleeding, so I guess it might have been pretty painful. I take back that comment about her being a just a girl then. Brittany drives her 626 like a sports car. She likes to throw her passengers around! I'm not complaining... I was sitting two girls on the way back... haha dun really matter which way I fall. I think she's the only girl I know who runs down a rocky hillside in sandals. ¡Salud! :D Riding in her car made me realize that my eclipse has pretty little low-end torque. Or maybe that's just because she has a heavier foot than I do. Oh well, I guess that makes the ride smoother, but gives the passengers a misleading impression that it is slower than it really is.

I wanna go back there again, preferably with the same company. I had so much fun.

Oh, Marie's outfit today looks straight out of the 60s. Who's Marie? She's Brittany's friend who wants to spend a night in the Church because it's supposedly haunted. I think her name's Marie but I'm really not sure. She was really quiet... just a little more quiet than her friend. Come on, haunted church? I think I've gotta tell them my first hand horror stories from Singapore.

What happens to our websites when we die?

I was reading my favorite webcomic, the Irregular Webcomic when the question of what happens to our websites when we die crossed my mind. I remember that a while back, just after the 911 attacks, Yahoo was in a spot for refusing to release the email passwords of the victims to the family members.

So what happens to our websites when we die? Weblogs are an emerging phenomenon, and most owners of weblogs are under the age of 40. (This is an assumption from personal experience, and the experiences of others. In no way has this claim been statistically verified.) As such, I believe there has not been many cases of people with weblogs, or other such personal websites dying. What would happen should one of us die? Would the weblog be left in neglect and eventually deleted from the system?

Weblogs are such wealthy banks of personal history. They should not be left to dust when the mortal body of it's owner crumbles. Each and every weblog tells a story. For sure, not every one might be interesting or particularly important, but they are a snapshot of humanity in the early 21st century. Imagine just how much more we would know about the 19th century if we had surviving diarys from peasants, factory workers, craftsmen, merchants and aristocrats. We would be able to see 19th century life from all the different points of view. Weblogs are an evolution of the way our racial memories are stored. Now, more than ever, historians in the future will have a clearer picture of how life was in our time.

I think that when we die, provided we leave instructions on how to access our weblogs, we will live on vividly in our loved ones' memories. Weblogs will be virtual shrines where people can visit to relive those good times that we had spent together while we were still on this earth.

In that sense, everyone with access to a computer can leave his mark on history. Every man woman or child, regardless or race or creed, as long as they have access to a computer, they will leave their names in history. They might not be very famous, but they'll still play a part, just like the small parts that they played in life.

Maybe someday in the future, some historian will look through this weblog, find this article and say that Vic was a person with foresight. Here's to you, future historian. Here's a voice from 2005 saying, cheers to you, and whichever time you may be from.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

Do nice guys finish last?

Nice guys do not finish last. They don't finish at all.

Every single one of my female friends tell me that nice guys definitely do not finish last. Xiu0 once told me that when girls want to settle down into a long term relationship, they would pick the nicer guys to be with. Well, if that's the case, why does everyone treat nice people like suckers?Anna, a friend at FOY desk, asked me during the Georgia Tech game why I had picked up the shift from some other guy. I just shrugged, and she told me that I was being "too nice." Can there even be such a thing as being too nice?

Why do people equate being nice with suffering? Being nice brings it's own rewards. Have you ever helped a child who was lost? Did you ever ask yourself "Is he worth it?" or "Why do I have to be nice to this child?" Chances are that you had helped him without a thought, and after the fact, you felt good about yourself. I guess somehow, in this materialistic world, we have forgotten that happiness does not lie with getting the benefit in every situation. However, since everyone else measures happiness with profits, I guess nice people do look like fools.

I am not a very nice person. I'm only nice to people I like. Someone who recently commented on my post realized the truth the hard way. The more I like them, the nicer I am to them. On the flip side, the less I like someone, the more nasty I am to them. I try to keep the nasty side to myself, due to my abhorrence of conflict. So, usually, I wouldn't be nasty to anyone even though I don't really like them. Some people push me over that edge though. Blood matters too, but not as much as how much I like them. For instance, I treat my best friends better than my siblings, but no matter what they do, I still love them. I definitely treated Michelle much better than everyone else in the world, which brings me to the point of this entire post. How would you know if someone is worth being nice to? What makes anyone "worth it" anyway? If you do something, then it must be worth it. This is the underlying foundation of marketing, and I think it's one of the underlying truths in life. No matter how bad something seems to you or to others, if you do it, it must be worth it.

So, Kristy, she's worth it. Despite what it seems to you, I don't suffer when I do what I do. In fact, the contrary is true. Being nice to her makes me happy.

Some other personal thoughts.

I guess some people will call me nice. I think that's just because I don't vocalize my nasty thoughts. But, that's being nice too isn't it? Now I have to thank my mother for bringing me up this way. Being the eldest child, I inherited her youthful hopeful ideals of fairness, honesty and civility before experience made her impart more "useful" attributes to her children. Now, if only I was less messy, more hardworking and had better control over my finances, I would be an outstanding person. I guess different people are meant to lead different lives.

My brother would be an outstanding person if he had a better temper and was less argumentative. I was really quiet as a boy, and I had a fiery temper a few years back. I wonder how he's going to turn out. He's really smart and is very money minded. He's an entrepreneur. I don't think there's a chance for him not to be rich in the future if he doesn't go astray.

My sister's very good disciplined. She's stubborn and a hypochrondriac, but she'll go really well in the future I guess. She's structured and ordered. Her thoughts come out of an orderly thought process.

Now now, my thought processes are crazy. I guess I'm better at parallel thoughts than sequential ones. My ideas come in bursts of inspiration. When I get into the mood, thoughts seem to flow from places that I don't know off. I come up with stuff that I didn't think I could come up with. All this, however is useless. I'm not an artist. I'm not an artiste. I wonder how I would fare in the future. All I know is that my brain functions on a drug, and that drug is motivation. When I am sufficiently motivated, I can do anything. Brittany once asked me what a drug is. I told her that I consider anything that alters your mental state a drug. Motivation is my drug, and amor its source.

For me,
Amor vincit omnia.

Love conquers all.

The metamorphosis is complete.

Almost two years ago, a change started to happen. It wasn't obvious in the beginning, but I'm happy to say that after two years of internal reflection, I'm a changed person. Although I still worry over nothing sometimes, I do that a lot less now. I remember I used to be a person who needed guarantees, and instant gratification. I remember I used to flit from one girl to another. I remember I used to do nothing sometimes because I thought that they were not worth it.

Then someone came along. Someone special. I don't know how she feels about me, all that I know is that she's not ready. She'd pretty much told me that. (Well, not in those exact words, but the gist is the same.) Somehow, instead of just letting things go, I chose to stay on. For the first time, all I wanted to do was to be there for her, and be nice to her without any expectations of return. I barely know her; I can't wait to get to know her better. Yet, these feelings are different from the rest. Sure, this isn't love, but it sure feels like love's prelude.

In the past two years, I've come to realize the truth of love. Love is about giving. Love is about giving till it hurts. Love is about giving till it hurts, and then giving some more.

I would want to love her. So I guess I'll start by giving. Giving till it hurts, and then giving some more.

You don't always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes, you get what you give.

Can someone please tell me which song the above lyrics are from? I think it was in a swatch or other commercial some time back.

WTF?

WTF? I have 8 hits today already. I know I know, this blog is becoming boring... I'll try harder next time...

Tired.

Been very busy and tired this whole week. No energy or inclination to talk about anything except to mention that things are going well.

Creationism has no place in SCIENCE CLASS.

Creationism has no basis in science and has no place in science class. It amazes me that 45% of Americans would prefer creationism to be mentioned alongside Darwin's Theory of Natural Selection in science class. Then again, it does not amaze me. After all, they voted for the President Chimpanzee.

http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/949.html

The Creationist Theory of the Flying Spagetti Monster.